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imbarazzo | dietro molliche di pane

imbarazzo

ore 16.30, arrivo alla materna a prendere le patafrulle: è il momento di massima confusione, con 80 genitori/nonni/dade che si aggirano inseguendo nani vivacissimi che cercano capi di abbigliamento abbandonati in posti impensabili.
ovviamente appena mi vedono, le due fanciulle, che stavano amabilmente disegnando nella sala centrale, al grido di "MAMMA MAMMA" no, non mi si lanciano al collo, ma si fiondano in direzioni opposte (effetto palle da biliardo bocciate) lungo il corridoio, ciascuna mirando alla propria "buchetta" con i vestiti.
altrettanto ovviamente quella del minimeo è nell’ultima stanza in fondo a destra, quella della paperella nell’ultima a sinistra.
dopo un momento di sconforto, e un consolante sguardo di intesa con la dada che le molla, mi tuffo sulla scia del minimeo, sperando che la paperella non decida, tanto che non mi vede, di prendere la sua roba e uscirsene da sola in strada.
arrivo alla buchetta della peste bionda e lei inizia, con sue perfide fossette, ad elencare:
"PELPA!"
"sì, questa è la tua felpa"
"BBBHOLA!"
"esatto, è viola"
"APPEGLIO!"
"sì, prendiamo il cappello"
"AAAPPA!"
"ecco anche la sciarpa"
"CACCCCCAAAAAAAAAA!"
"shshshshhh! no, ecco si dice g-i-a-c-c-a"
"CAAAACCCCAAAA"
(varie mamme e nonne cominciano a fare capolino dalla porta, richiamati dall’urlo della giungla)
"parla pianino, giacca non cacca. gi-a-cca"
"CAAAACCCCAAA!"
(tra gli spettatori c’è chi, più vicino, sogghigna mentre i più lontani scuotono il capo, disapprovando)
tentando di abbreviare lo spettacolo agguanto la giacca sotto braccio e la prendo per mano borbottando: "la giacca ce la mettiamo dopo, dai, intanto andiamo a vedere dov’è finita tua sorella…"
"NOOO VIA, MAMMA! A’PPETTA!!! IO CACCCCCCAAAA!"
(argh!)
a questo punto sua sorella compare teatralmente sulla scena gridando:
"MAMMA, ERO TUTTA DA SOLA!!! DOV’ERI??? E’ IL MINIMEO CHE URLA CHE HA LA CACCA??"

stendiamo almeno un sipario pietoso sulla mia successiva uscita dall’asilo attorniata dalle bimbe che salterellano canticchiando "cacca-cacca-è-proprio-la-mia-cacca"…

Category: varie
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